Lemonade

I started my page on Facebook during a hard time in my life..February 2013 I was stuck and not getting anywhere. I was always the girl that wished she was someone else..always wanting another life..any life it didn't matter..but never my own.  I'm a sensitive person so I type this with tears in my eyes but just know they are genuine and happy tears that I cry.  

I'm not conceited nor cocky in any way but when I sit back and look at how much as changed for me not because of anyone else but myself I am amazed.  I'm amazed because I was never the person that said they would do something and then do it.  I would make excuses..sweep it under the rug or wait for "Monday" to come before I tried again. I was never ambitious or driven or motivated by anything unless it was food.  I was miserable in my skin and always wished I were someone else.  

I can't put my finger on what changed for me..because many of you have asked me.  But after years of failing at it..one day something finally clicked.  Finally it made sense to me that in order for me to be happy I had to work on not just the outside..but the inside.  I was so focused on my outer appearance I didn't realize that unless I fixed what was going on in my head and heart it would never work.

365 days ago I had no dreams of being a personal trainer let alone owning my own business doing so..I knew I could write but never thought I would have a book coming out. I didn't even know how to lift dumbbells properly this time last year.  When a friend of mine took me to the free weights area I freaked out and went to my "happy" place..the treadmill instead.

I started my page not thinking anybody in the world would ever pay attention to what the fat girl had to say.. but I had to write to get it all out because to be honest with you..I couldn't afford a therapist. Writing has helped me tremendously and of course I'm not perfect..nobody is..perfection is boring. I do have my moments of struggle..I do have my moments of insecurity..but so does everyone..and those moments are far fewer now than they ever were before. 

I turned what I considered my worst fault into my biggest triumph ...

I took lemons and I made lemonade..I set goals and I crushed them..and when I felt confident enough I started helping others. I could've sat on my ass and just let the world go on living without me..but if you have one life and that's it..then why not live it?? Why focus on the negative when you have the power to change it?  Why be the problem when you can be your solution??

365 days later.. I have the pleasure of having the best damn clients ever. Near and far..people Ive never met and people I see everyday..all listening to me and inspiring me daily while I inspire them.  It's crazy thinking that 2 years ago I walked on a treadmill inside a gym and watched a female trainer and literally thought to myself..I wish I could do that. Not even knowing that I would be.  This didn't just happen over night for me..I have marketed the shit out of myself and kicked my own ass each day.  I email non stop..I call anyone I can..and if someone can only do jumping jacks at 5am on a Sunday..by golly I will be right there doing it with them.

I didn't just lose weight and get lucky..I crawled bleeding to that damn finish line and let the sweat sting my cuts and bruises. I have been working my butt off in one way or another since I was living on my own at age 16. Day in and day out punching the clock..not knowing when I would have enough to get by..not knowing when the electric would be shut off or where I would be sleeping each night. These were daily worries for me..so when I sit here and say how did I get so lucky..while I do feel lucky I also feel I'm not.. because things didn't just all of a sudden go my way. I had to reach out and grab them..I had to make them happen.  I didn't ever just sit and wait for my life to change..I had to try new things until something finally worked.

What does this all have to do with weight loss?  It takes a special person to be able to lose weight..whether that be 20 lbs or 200 lbs like myself..it takes day in day out never giving up.  It takes going to bed at 10pm instead of midnight because you know you have to get up at the butt crack of dawn. It means never taking no for an answer..ever. It means being a champion even when you didn't come in first place.  It means patience and time and sweat.  It means being afraid of something and going for it anyway..it means being brave.  It means never giving up not ever.

It means taking those damn lemons and making lemonade.