I could see the red and blue flashing lights as soon as I turned onto the road heading to a training session..I debated on turning around and heading in a different direction but the trail I was headed to was near those flashing lights so I knew I had to drive past them. As my car moved closer I could see that this was serious..3 totaled cars at an intersection where the lights weren't working (again)..this tends to happen a lot here. So there I sat in my little white car inching up closer and closer to the accident and I was anxious to see the damage. The ambulance was blocking a lane and I then I saw it..a group of EMT and policemen trying to strap a man on a stretcher..the man covered in blood. I'm a sensitive person (i've always hated that about me) so I started crying like a baby..praying that the man on the stretcher would be ok.

I began to wonder what his life was like..did he have a family? A happy family? Did he live his life the way he wanted to? Had he accomplished everything he wanted to before this day? Or was he sad..lived alone..afraid to the things he always dreamt about and it hit me smack in the face.

An emotional wreck at a stoplight because of a wreck.. many of you do not know me personally but I'm guilty of sitting on the sidelines when it comes to many things. I'm guilty of loving routines and not stepping out of the box (not when it comes to fitness) but with everything else. I sat at that light for what felt like forever but I'm glad I did because I needed this moment of clarity.

It's been a rough few months but at the same time I know its for good reason..I am a different person inside and out. Not just the scale..the pant sizes..the seat belts that finally fit around my waist..I'm not different because I can see my feet when I walk..though its nice..that isn't whats changed.

I appreciate life way more than I used to..I'm more of a go getter than I ever was before. I don't wait for things to happen I make them happen. But not with everything..until now.

So in the words of the great Tim McGraw I'm choosing to live like I am dying..though I'm not. I'm going to do everything I said I never would..things that scare the living shit out of me..things I never dreamt I would do..I'm going to say things I've never said because I know I need to. I'm done with all of that old life. I've grown into an amazing woman and I deserve to live my life the way anyone else should.

I've struggled so hard from a young age until now and it made me tough and strong..and thats great. But there is so much I want to do that I never could/would..but I will. When I said 2014 would be my year..I wasn't joking. So from now on each day I will do something that scares me..even if its small..because whats small to you may not be to me.

I don't want to end up on a stretcher covered in blood and think man oh man do I wish I had more time left..I wish I had done what I wanted to.

Life moves pretty fast..if you don't stop and look around once in a while..you might miss it- Ferris Bueller